Haunted
by andy1990
Summary: This story is based around the episode,"Butterfly". Basically C.J. has a secret she has never told anyone not even Matt. It all comes to the surface when they have to find Butterfly. Based on the show of course. I don't own it,wish I did-LOL-.
1. Chapter 1

Matt had just finished cooking steaks on the grill on the balcony of the office as he had many times before. C.J. complimented him on how good they looked and the two sat down and started to eat. As they ate talking on the days events as they often did, they heard the elevator doors. Houston told C.J. to stay seated, he would go see who it was and what they wanted.

After a few minutes came back out onto the balcony with a very young woman following down behind him.

"This is Marsha, she has come here to get our help in finding her sister..Butterfly." Matt told C.J. as she was looking at him inquisitively.

"Well, hi there, my name is C.J. Parsons, I am Mr. Houston's associate." she told the young woman hoping to make her feel at ease, given the look on her face, she was probably pretty uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner, but my sister is in real trouble." Marsha told them.

"Well just hang on, start from the beginning." Matt told her looking at C.J. concerned for the upset young woman.

That's exactly what Marsha did. She started out with how she left home 3yrs ago because of an abusive stepfather and ended up with how she ended up being a hooker, for a man that went by the name…St. Nick. She knew that Butterfly was with him or at least his accomplice, and they had to get her back before he made her do things that would make her skin crawl.

About another hour had passed and Matt and C.J. bid the young woman farewell, making sure first that she had a place to go and she said she did. They sat back down both not very hungry after their conversation with the young woman.

"I'll go and fire-up Baby, so we can get started." C.J. told Matt as they were cleaning up the last of the dinner dishes.

"I sure wish Marsha had been able to give us more of a lead." C.J. told Matt

"Yea, I know C.J., maybe just start by pulling up anyone that might have a rap sheet in child prostitution." Matt told her as he made his way over to the couch with their after dinner drinks in hand.

They mulled over screen after screen of people who were either still in prison or who had died in prison. Exhausted, they both leaned back and tried to shake it off, but had a very hard time.

"Why don't we pack it up and start fresh in the morning, it's gotten very late already." Matt told her as he looked over at her smiling, patting her leg.

"No, I'm alright Houston. If your tired you go ahead and go, I'll be fine. The sooner we get this creep off the street the better." C.J. told him with vigor and determination.

"C.J. , darling you can't even see." Matt told her putting his arm around her.

"I'm fine, I'll throw on a pot of coffee, you go ahead." she told him kissing his cheek as she got up to make the coffee.

"I'm not about to leave you all alone up here." Matt told her and then remembered about the loft.

"If you won't leave, I'll stay too. I forgot all about the loft being finished now. We can go up there and lay down if we need to." Matt told her as he walked over and rubbed her shoulders, getting the feeling there was more to this case for her, than what she was saying.

"Ok, yea sounds good, that loft was probably one of the best things I ever talked you into." C.J. told him, with a slight "told you so" smile on her face, as they sat and started plugging away at Baby again.

"Yes it was." Matt told her with a big smile on his face, more or less admitting defeat because when she first had brought it up, he had seen no need for it, after all they had the couch he had told her. But in the end she had won out. And with the thought of the long night ahead, at that moment he was glad she had won.

C.J. and Matt went at it probably another 45mins to an hour, when all of a sudden a man's picture popped up on the screen and it made C.J. stop frozen in her tracks. No,it couldn't be, she had thought to herself. Or could it???


	2. Chapter 2

C.J. could not believe who she thought she was seeing. It couldn't be, she kept staring at the screen. She made the image as big as she could, cursing it because it wouldn't get any bigger. Matt noticed her intense behavior and started to ask her questions.

"What's going on C.J.? Have you seen him before? Matt asked trying to gage whether or not this was something she would mind being questioned about.

"Just curious, that's all." She told him, trying not to let the fear and anger escape her voice or expression.

Matt figured there was more to this than she was letting on based on the fact she wouldn't stop staring at the screen and he could sense the distance her voice, as if it were not a subject she would talk about.

"All I know is we have to keep digging and if this is the man known as St. Nick, we have to get him off the street…before he can ruin another young girl's life." C.J. said adamantly.

Matt didn't push but was sure more than ever that there was something to this case that C.J. wasn't saying. Still not pushing though, because he knew if he did and she wasn't ready to go into her reasoning behind what drove her, she'd never would let him in on it and he didn't want her to close herself off to him, because she never had before. Ever since she started living at the ranch next to his when they were little kids. They had had a special bond. They were best friends and had been since she had moved next to him. Matt wasn't even sure why they had formed that special bond but was ever so glad they had. He couldn't imagine his life without her in it. That's why when she reacted the way she had to this case, he knew something was wrong, that she was maybe "haunted" by something or someone but what? He couldn't take the not knowing and wanted to help her anyway he could and "slowly and carefully" he thought to himself, that's exactly what he would do.

"Your absolutely right ,C.J.. Whether it be this man or whoever has got this prostitution ring going, they need to be stopped immediately." Matt told her as they sat there reading more on this man that had just turned C.J.'s world upside down ..again.. and brought back the most horrible memories of her childhood. And the worst thing about it was she dealt with them all alone, with no help from her best friend. The one person she had been able to count on all of her life but felt she just couldn't tell him about this. She thought if she did tell him, he would never see her the same again and that would kill her.

The minutes turned into hours, the more they read and researched, the more Matt and C.J. were able to put links together that put this prominent business figure in the thrawls of a huge prostitution ring.

"Well, well Ms. Parsons, looks like we got our man." Matt told her, noticing she didn't look as thrilled as he had hoped she would.

"What's wrong? I thought you'd be jumping out of your skin with happiness? Matt asked concerned still about what was going on with her.

"I _am_ happy, Houston. I just need to make sure the case we have formulated against him is air tight, and we still have to find Butterfly and get her back, before he can make her do things, she will regret for the rest of her life." C.J. said this staring at the screen but Houston could tell she was getting tears in her eyes.

"I wish you would tell me what's going on C.J." Matt told her putting an arm around her to comfort her.

"Who says there is anything going on?" she said with a hint of irritation in her voice.

"I just want this S.O.B. to pay for all the lives he has ruined or has tried to ruin over the years." she told him with anger creeping into her voice.

"Over the years? You act like you know this from experience?" Matt asked watching her face very closely for any hint that he was right.

"I just meant that after all the years of being with you in the agency, and coming across all the criminals that we have come across, he has probably been at this a while." C.J. hoped giving this as her explanation would alleviate anymore doubts in his mind, and that he would drop the fact that she might know him.

"Ok, if you say so, I know you and I know there is more to this and when your ready, you know you can talk to me." He told her as he left the room, leaving her to chew on that.


	3. Chapter 3

She didn't care what he said how understanding he was. This was different. He would never understand this, no matter what he said and she swore to herself she'd never tell him.

She was still looking at the screen, her emotions started to run high again. She stood up pacing back and forth and then she just lost it, she swung her glass at the screen.

"Damn, you..you won't get away with it this time.!!" She screamed as tears came tumbling down her face. Matt had seen the whole display of emotions. But in order to keep himself in check, he walked over to her and reached out his hand.

She looked up, startled, she took his hand as he lead her over to sit with him on the couch.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were back, I'll clean it up." C.J. said as she wiped her eyes and tried to get up.

"No, sit with me. I won't push. I am very worried about you now though, and you know I could give a horses hind end about the mess." Matt said as he pulled her back down beside him on the couch and got her to lay her head against his chest. " I actually hope, chucking that glass, helped you feel somewhat better, at least for now." Matt soothingly told her.

"This kind of case, involving children, it's just very difficult. Children are innocent, or at least they are supposed to be." C.J. told him in a way that he could hear the sadness in her voice, and it broke his heart, because he didn't know why she was acting this way. He just knew he needed to fix it.

That's what they did, they fixed each others problems, they always had. Whenever he had had issues with anything whether it be women, a case, or needing help healing from a gunshot wound or being stabbed, which all of the above had happened more than once or even twice or even three times for both of them. She was always there for him and he had been there for her. But obviously this go around she needed him more than she would ever let on. And he had to figure out how to get her to let him in, without her realizing it, until it had happened.

"Hey why don't we go upstairs and grab something to eat out of the fridge." Matt said and she agreed she was hungry and all the coffee was just making her stomach feel queazey with it being empty.

When they came back down they both felt better with something in their stomachs.

"Ok, lets just go over this one more time, to make sure what we have on him is going to stick." C.J. said

As they went through the information that last time they came across a woman's name that they hadn't seen before, her name was Janice.

"Ok, well we need to see if Marsha recognizes this woman. Maybe this is going to be a good lead as to where Butterfly may be." C.J. told Matt eagerly.

"Yea but it's almost 3am,lets go lay down at least for a few hours and when we wake up, we can try and get a hold of Marsha. Matt said hoping C.J. was tired enough not to argue with him.

"Ok, you win, we can't get a hold of her right now anyway, she told him and let him lead the way upstairs to the loft.

They got upstairs and they laid down together, his arms around her trying to make her feel secure, as he knew she didn't because of the display with the glass from earlier in the evening. That's how their relationship had been all along. They could crawl in the bed together and absolutely nothing happen. They never really understood it themselves but just went with it. And god forbid they ever mention anything like this to any of their dates and that would be the end of that relationship for both of them.

They had both fallen asleep, or so he thought. He felt her stirring which charred him awake, he just laid there and listened and watched to see exactly what she was going to do. And what he thought may happen did. She had a nightmare and it was a bad one it seemed. C.J. was screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Hey..your ok." He told her trying to gently wake her from her wanting to scare her even more than she obviously was.

"C.J. darling, wake up." Matt told her rubbing her arm trying to wake her.

She finally started to come out of her dream, tears streaming down her face by this time.

"I must have been dreaming." she told him trying to act as if were no big deal.

"Yes, you definitely were, I want to help, but you have to tell me how C.J. Matt told her as she sank back into his chest.

"I'm fine Houston, I'm probably just over tired." C.J. told him feeling totally exposed and that would be the last thing she wanted.

She drifted back to sleep after a while. Matt could tell getting to the bottom of what haunted her was not going to be an easy task.


	4. Chapter 4

C.J. and Matt got up and freshened up for good a few hours later. They figured it was time to try and reach Marsha. After a few tries they got a hold of her and asked her to come to the office and identify the pictures of people that they had come across, so that they could have verification that they were indeed on the right track.

"That's, Janice." Marsha told Matt and C.J. "According to everything I've ever seen and heard she is responsible for getting the kids ready for St. Nick." C.J. stomach turned as Marsha told them what she knew. "That's definitely St. Nick, I have unfortunately been exposed to him before." "He's evil, all he does is exploit children for money." Marsha told them. C.J. excused herself for minute, thinking she was going to throw up before she could get out of the room.

A little while later Matt came in her office where she had hidden herself, so as not to have to explain why she had had such a bad reaction to the things Marsha had told them.

"Marsha left." I have an idea as to how to get Butterfly, but it involves you C.J. If you'd rather not be a part of it, we can always go with an undercover female cop of Hoyt's." Matt told her putting his arm around her realizing she was very upset but still refused to talk about what was eating at her.

"No, I want to do this, I need to do this." C.J. told him under no uncertain terms, she absolutely wanted to be a part of bringing St. Nick down.

"Ok then, it's settled." "We will go up to the house when Marsha gives us the address, you keep Janice occupied at the front door, while I search the property for Butterfly." He told her trying to have as much confidence in his voice as he could muster for her.

"Ok, it really sounds like a good plan, I just hope it works." C.J. said running her hands through her hair doubting them as she said it.

"It will, you'll see. They don't even have a clue that they are being investigated. We'll have a lot better chance at catching them now, while their guard is down." Matt told her as he went over to hug her feeling she needed to be comforted, which she graciously accepted the hug, because truth be known she loved the way his arms felt around her. They were strong and tender and just had the most secure feeling to her in the world. And with all this St. Nick stuff being brought up, that's exactly what she needed was his arms around her, she just wouldn't tell him that.

They sat and waited at the office to hear from Marsha, going over the plan they had in place once they could find out where the girls were being held. Not much later the elevator pinged, which grabbed their attention from their lunch and conversation.

"Well, it took a little digging but I got it." Marsha told them. She handed them the address and both C.J. and Matt knew exactly what neighborhood this house was in. It was full of movie producers, writers, pretty much dealing in the film industry whether it be t.v. or movies, this is what you would find in this neighborhood. All million dollar homes and more. C.J. and Matt were very aware of this because of course Matt was a "Houston", and came from money himself and C.J. although not as well off as Houston's family, she had grown up with him from an early age so therefore she was privy to everything he was. Matt's daddy had made sure of that especially when C.J.'s daddy had died and then her mama had taken off to Europe and left the child behind with a bunch of nannies and ranch hands. His daddy became like her surrogate daddy. He treated her just like he did Houston, and sometimes even better. C.J. remembered that part of her childhood very fondly, Matt's daddy was the best and she missed him as much as Matt did.

So back to current events, C.J. had to force herself back to what was going on in front of them. That trip down memory lane would only end in tears for her so she needed to snap herself out of it and fast.

Taking that short trip down memory lane had cost C.J. a part of the conversation at hand. Matt recapped what had been said after Marsha had left., He didn't push though, he knew she was very preoccupied and just hoped they could pull off their plans quick fast and in a hurry before C.J. had time to get distracted again. He wouldn't want her blaming herself if something went wrong and they couldn't get Butterfly. Marsha had told them she was pretty sure she was at Janice's because word on the street was that there had been a group of girls brought in a few days ago and one did fit Butterfly's description.

Matt and C.J. got their things together and headed off to Janice's. Talking the whole way there. That was the plan, Matt didn't want any silence between them the whole way there. He didn't want her to have time to get distracted, especially if it ended up being distracted in a bad way. They finally got to the house. A huge mansion with large white columns on the out skirts of town.


	5. Chapter 5

"Ok, you ready?" Matt looked at C.J. wanting to know.

"Absolutely, let's do it." She smiled back at him, her confidence had risen since earlier. She hoped this was a good sign and hoped that very soon this would be all over.

And it was a sign. The plan went off without a hitch. C.J. went to the front door and as luck would have it Janice indeed was there. C.J. pretended to be an over zealous mother wanting to get her child into acting. As C.J. kept the woman occupied at the front door, Matt had made his way to the back of house and came across a pair of French doors and there she sat. He had found Butterfly. He opened the door and told the little girl Marsha sent him and that's all it took, Butterfly went with him

Matt and Butterfly made their way around to the front of the house as Hoyt was coming up to arrest Janice. Janice saw the police cars parking out front and tried to shut the door. C.J. was way to fast for her.

"No ya don't. Janice, your under arrest, meet Lt. Hoyt." She told her as she yanked her out of the front door and into the waiting handcuffs of Hoyt.

Matt and C.J. met up with Marsha and social services back at the office. Being that both girls were runaways and under 18yrs of age, they would be put into foster care. But they were placed together and that made all four of them feel a lot better.

Matt and C.J. sat on the couch both with a scotch in their hands recapping the days events. Both as happy as they could be for the outcome. With Marsha and Butterfly's testimony and Janice turning states evidence, plus other eye witness accounts like Marsha's friend Scott, St. Nick would be put away for a very long time.

"I'm just glad he can't hurt anymore young girls." C.J. told Matt.

"Me too." He told her, wrapping his arms around her holding her snuggly.

"I think, I'll make an appearance at the court house, just to make sure nothing goes wrong, when he is brought up on charges." She told him looking at him to see what kind of a reaction she was going to get.

"C.J. darling, are you sure you want to do that? The case is air tight, we made sure of that, and Hoyt agrees as well." Matt told her, wondering why she wanted to put herself through that, when she had obviously already been through so much with this case.

"Yes, Houston, I'm sure. I just wouldn't feel right, if I didn't see it all the way to completion. And that's when the judge puts St. Nick behind bars for years to come." C.J. told him determined she was going to see it through no matter what.

"Well ok then, I'll go with you. That way you can have someone there on your side, so to speak." He told her rubbing her head.

"Thank you, I … it would be nice for you to be with me." C.J. told him smiling up at him. "Besides if something goes wrong ,there's no telling what I might do." That part she said under her breathe but Matt heard her and that concerned him….a lot.


	6. Chapter 6

The day came for them to go to the court house where St. Nick was to be arraigned on prostitution charges. Matt escorted C.J. to the proceedings just like he said he would. She didn't let on but she was indeed comforted by his presence. What she hadn't counted on though was walking smack dab into St. Nick and his lawyer as they all were making their way up the hallway towards the courtroom.

"Well, Ms. Parsons is it? I knew then you were a beauty, but shame on me, I had no idea just how exquisite you would turn out to be." St. Nick hissed as he and his lawyer waltzed by as if a Cheshire Cat. C.J. just stared in hatred, knowing Matt had heard what he had to say and was wondering what she was going to tell him about what the evil doer had said.

Surprisingly Matt said nothing. The court proceedings thank goodness did go off with out a hitch, much to C.J. and Matt's relief.

Later that evening the two partners got back to the office.

"Care for a drink? Matt asked C.J. figuring she could use it.

"Make it a triple." C.J. said chuckling.

"C.J. I did hear what St. Nick said to you." Matt said, concern on his face and in his voice.

Just then the phone rang. _"Saved by the bell."_ C.J. thought as Matt answered it, he had been standing closest to it.

"It's for you, your aunt Nora?? Matt said inquisitively.

C.J. took the phone wondering what she could want, it had been years since they had even spoken. C.J. spent a little while on the phone with her aunt, when she did hang up she paused for a minute, before she spoke.

"She was calling about my mother. I need to take a little time off, she's pretty sick." C.J. said to Matt as he hugged her.

"I'm sorry, what can I do? Matt asked, seeing the sadness in C.J.'s face.

"Not a lot to do, I really can't even believe they called me. I haven't spoken to her since right after my dad died, when she left for London years ago." C.J. told Matt, reminding him actually of things he already knew.

"I'll get my pilot to get my plane ready, London is along way on a commercial flight. And if your going to go that far you might as well be comfortable." Matt said smiling at her.

"You don't have to do that I can manage on my own." she told him, not wanting to be a bother.

"Nonsense, and I'll even go with you, keep you company." Matt said knowing this trip was probably not going to be for a family reunion and sensing she was going to need a friend whether she knew it then or not.

"Houston, you can't do that. What about the business? C.J. asked trying to put up a road block to him going with her.

"I _can_ do that, and I _am_ doing that. And that is final. Murray and Chris can handle this place for a while. Besides I have always wanted to go to London." Matt said with a smirk.

"I don't know what I'd do with out you." she said hugging him in appreciation.

"You know it could get uncomfortable, I haven't seen her in over 20yrs." C.J. firmly.

"Yes I do know, and if she weren't sick, she'd get a piece of my mind. Leaving a child with nannies and ranch hands to raise." Matt said rubbing C.J.'s back as to comfort her.

"Well at the time it was very painful but looking back it was the best thing she ever did do for me after my dad died. You and I may not be as close as we are if we weren't seeking that bond that we both wanted and needed so desperately." she said .

"You got me there, maybe I'll have to thank her instead." Matt said bending down and lightly brushing C.J.'s lips with a kiss.

"It's getting to late tonight but I'll call the pilot tomorrow and maybe we can take off the day after? Does that sound ok? Matt asked.

"Sounds perfect, thank you again for going with me, even though you don't have too." C.J. told him.

"Your welcome, and I know I don't have to go, but I want to go, just in case." Matt said realizing the last part of what he said sounded like there was an agenda.

"Just in case what?" C.J. asked wondering what he meant by that comment.

"Oh, nothing really. Your just going so far away from home, you never know what can happen. I would just feel better if I were with you." He said hoping that satisfied her curiosity.

"If you say so." C.J. said raising an eyebrow at him, but leaving it alone.


	7. Chapter 7

Two days later they were on the plane. The pilot had turned off the seatbelt light, so they knew it was ok to get up if they felt the need.

"See isn't this much better than some stuffy, crowded commercial flight? Matt asked C.J. who looked up from her paperwork.

"Of course." she said smiling at him, then going back to her paperwork.

"C.J., put the paperwork away and relax." Matt said a while later.

"I'm fine Houston, I'm almost done. C.J. said looking up flashing him a quick smile.

"Wonder what your aunt will have to say about your mother when we get to London?" Matt asked her trying to see if that might spark some kind of tell all response.

"Don't know, but whatever it is, it's not going to be good, seeing as how I haven't seen or talked to them in over 20years." She said not looking up from her paperwork.

A little while later C.J. was still plugging away at her paperwork and Matt decided she had had enough.

"Give me that." Matt took the paperwork out of her hands and sat next to her on the couch.

"Houston, I was almost done." C.J. stated with irritation.

"Yea, and you said that an hour ago too, you need a break. Your running ragged to try and avoid thinking about this trip. I know how that pretty little mind of yours works don't forget." Matt told her as he rubbed her head.

"I guess I could use a break. She said as she leaned back against the couch.

"That's my girl. Just relax and rest." Matt said his arm around her by now and her leaning on his chest.

For the next few hours they both relaxed and had fallen asleep, him leaning back against the couch and her snuggled in his arms.

The next thing they knew they were being woken up by the pilot saying they would be landing soon and that they needed to put on their seatbelts. Which of course they did without question.

They departed the plane and surprisingly C.J.'s aunt was waiting for them at the airport.

"Hello, darling it's been along time." her aunt said with a long drawn out British drawl.

"Yes it has. How have you been?" C.J. asked trying to be polite as Matt followed down behind.

"Oh, I can't complain. I hope I didn't startle you being here but we really need to get on to the hospital. Your mother isn't doing well." her aunt said in a hurried tone.

"Okay well then I guess we better get there. C.J. said as she looked at Matt inquisitively.

They rode to the hospital in almost complete silence, C.J. dreading that she was in the position of seeing her mother for the first time in over 20years and Matt wondering how this was going to affect her and hoping he could say the right things to her if things turned bad.

They got to the hospital and C.J. slowly opened her mother's hospital room door so as not to wake her if she were sleeping. C.J. quietly walked over to the bedside, her mother was indeed sleeping. All the years gone finally welled up inside of her, she turned to Houston tears soaking her face. She leaned over to him and he held her in his embrace knowing how hard this had to have been on her.

"This is so hard, seeing her like this. I know she left me but I still don't want to see her this way." C.J. said looking into Matt's eyes for comfort.

"I wish I could make it better." Matt said wishing he could ease his best friends pain.

Just then both looked down at the frail, pale woman in the bed, who began to stir as she awoke from her sleep.

"You, came." the older woman said looking at C.J.

"Yes, mama I'm here." C.J. said reaching down and grabbing her hand.

"C.J. I am sick and I couldn't let anymore time go by without letting you know something. Her mother said in her frail sick voice.

"You should rest, we can talk later." C.J. tears in her eyes again, lump in her throat.

"No, I've waited long enough, too long in fact." Her mother said sternly.

"C.J., I don't blame you anymore for what happened to your father. I was so grieve stricken at the time I lashed out and stupidly I lashed out at you, because of your involvement with that horrible man." Her mother told her.

"Mama it was a long time ago." C.J. said tears streaming down her face.

Matt was standing behind C.J., with his hand firmly on her back to give her physical and moral support hearing all of this, knowing she needed him now more than ever and wondering just what on earth a small child could have done to make her mother take off like she did


	8. Chapter 8

.

"Hear me out, I'm not done. I have to say this to you before it's really to late. I accused you of a heinous crime, and I want you to know how very sorry I am. That man killed your father, not a small innocent child." her mother told her.

All C.J. could do was cry and shake her head in agreement.

So this is what was going on Matt said to himself. But why? Why would she blame C.J. a child at the time for her father's death? Matt tried to stand firm for C.J. and said nothing and just let the remainder fall out and it did.

"I had to clear the air, I know in your heart it may be to late but I had to tell you I didn't blame you anymore and I never should have, I should have never left you with the housekeeper and ranch hands to raise, you were my child not theirs." her mother said in yet an even lower tone, letting everyone know the end was near.

"Mama, I'm ok, and have been ok. Houston and his family have taken me in as one of their own. Especially Houston's dad, he was like a surrogate father to me. We miss him terribly." With that said her _and_ Houston this time had tears in their eyes and lumps in their throats.

"I'm glad they were good to you dear and I love you, I always have. You were my only child. " with that she began to cough and the doctor was called in and with in minutes it was over. The machines made that loud screeching noise and then…. _she was gone_.

The pain was overwhelming. She turned to face Houston and buried her face in his chest. He held her tight as she wept. Seeing her so, upset he wept with her his heart breaking for the pain she was going through at the death of her mother and the cause of their estrangement in the first place which was still a mystery. But was at the root of all the pain. Houston knew he needed to find out what that cause was so that he could help his best friend make peace with it, _but how?_

The next few days were a blur. Making funeral arrangements then the funeral itself. But finally it was time to go back home. C.J. was packing when Houston knocked at her door to see if she was ready to go.

"Sorry, I'm almost ready." she said as she hurriedly put the last little bit of clothes in her suitcase.

"We have time, I'm a guy I probably had less than you did." Houston said.

"True." she said with a slight grin.

C.J. was making one last sweep of the room to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything when she suddenly felt faint and had to grab onto the bed so as not to fall.

"Hey, what's going on? Have you eaten today? Houston asked very concerned about what just happened.

"Um,no, I had a little tea this morning, I'll be fine. I just really need to get back home. I'll be ok once we get out of here." she said still not feeling well.

"Darling, your exhausted and overwhelmed and I don't blame you. But we need to get you well, lets get down to the restaurant and grab a bite before we get on the plane. And once we get on the plane we'll have plenty of food and can relax on the way home." He said as he reached over to help her up and steady her.

"Ok, I am hungry. I'm sorry to be such a burden." C.J. said.

"You are no burden, C.J. whatever I can do to help you through this is what I plan to do. Whether you like it or not. I'm here for the duration." Houston stated firmly.

"Thank you, you have no idea what you being here has meant to me, especially now." C.J. said as she leaned on Matt as they made their way to the restaurant.

Matt and C.J. finished their breakfast and made their way to the plane. The pilot again cut off the seatbelt sign and when he did that, Matt got up and took C.J.'s hand and led her to the couch.

"Come here, I told you once we got in the air, that we would relax and that's exactly what your going to do miss." Matt told her as he had them sit on the couch and C.J. laid her head on his chest feeling safer and more secure now than since before they left L.A.

"Your so good to me." She said as she looked up to him.

At the same time he looked down at her and they kissed, a light delicate swipe of the lips but a sweet tender kiss none the less. They broke away and Matt and C.J. stayed in their embrace as Matt rubbed her head in a soothing manner that eventually put her to sleep. Matt wondered as he drifted off if that kiss meant as much to her as it had to him, awakening feelings in him that he had for her and probably had had for a long time.


	9. Chapter 9

A few hours later C.J. began to awaken from her most rest filled sleep.

"Hey, Sorry, I must have fallen asleep." C.J. said as she looked up at him still on his chest.

"Quit being sorry about everything. You were exhausted and I bet any amount of money you feel a ton better, don't you? He asked getting aggravated for all the apologizing she seemed to be doing lately.

"Yes actually I do feel loads better, thanks." she said.

"C.J.,what happened with your mother? She must have done a number on you because ever since we have seen her, you have been acting not like yourself. Like apologizing all the time." Matt asked not able to contain his curiosity any longer.

"It was along time ago Houston, not worth talking about." she said as she went to get up to avoid anymore questions, he pulled her back down.

"You can't run forever, let me help you through whatever it is that happened." Matt said worthy worry in his voice.

"Just great your going to corner me in a plane where you know I have no where to get too. Low blow Houston." C.J. said angrily looking in the opposite direction, wanting to die before ever telling him what had happened all those years ago.

"C.J. I want to help you and if getting you cornered is what I have to do, then that's what I'll do. You can be mad at me all you want but I know this, your never going to have peace unless you come to terms about whatever it is that is haunting you." Matt said firmly.

" You can't help me. You didn't kill your own father." C.J. said angrily knowing as soon as it came out he had pushed her buttons and made her say to much,damn him she thought. He'll never leave it alone now.

"What the hell are you talking about? You didn't kill yours either,your mother apologized for that. Not that 20yrs later makes what she said any easier to take but she did try to make it right. What the hell has she done to you?" Matt asked easing his tone.

" Nothing,she didn't do anything,don't you get that? _I did, I killed him_." C.J. said raising her voice,crying and choking at the same time.

"Here drink this." Houston handed her one of the drinks from the mini bar.

"Now what happened,damn it C.J. I know you and you wouldn't hurt a flea, let alone kill your own father. Please tell me about it so we can work through this. So I can help you see you didn't do anything." He said basically pleading with her.

"Houston, if I tell you, you'll never look at me the same again,and I couldn't take that. You've always been my safe place. No matter what has gone on, you've always been there. If I tell you what happened with St. Nick and me,you'll be disgusted and hate me." C.J. told him trying to hold back more crying.


	10. Chapter 10

"St. Nick? I knew it. The way you reacted that night,when you threw that glass. C.J. did he hurt you? I could _never_ hate you _ever_. "putting his arm around C.J.'s shoulder.

"Fine….. It was not long before we moved to Texas. My mother thought I was a little to tomboyish so she put me into modeling. That's when my first encounter with St. Nick came about. The models would get all fixed up, make-up, hair, clothes. Which btw were not age appropriate,but none of our parents knew this because they weren't allowed to stay while the photo shoot was taking it was your turn the photographer would take you into his private studio, and when he was finished taking the models picture St. Nick came in. C.J. stopped to take a sip of her drink and clear her throat.

"Go ahead baby,get it off your chest." Matt said soothingly.

"The one encounter I had with St. Nick was enough, he kissed me right on the lips, and then he started touching me in in appropriate places for a child. I was terrified I ran out of the room and didn't look back. I ran into the parking lot and my dad happened to be waiting out there to pick me up. He asked me what was wrong and I told him to just get out of there and that I'd explain on the way home. So I did, and he was beyond furious. When we got home, he told my mother what happened,she was mortified as well." C.J. stopped again to take a sip of drink,never looking Houston in the face.

"Ok, this still doesn't explain why in the world you think you killed your dad. What St. Nick did was horrible and I'm glad he's paying now." Matt leaned over hugging her.

" There's more…… Later that night, my dad grabbed his gun, we know from eyewitness accounts he had confronted St. Nick and threatened him. St. Nick didn't like being threatened evidentally. The next thing we know my dad was found outside a liquor store, right up the street from the studio. My dad didn't drink,never did. So we knew St. Nick had done it. And not to mention there was a Christmas tag found in his pocket that said, "_Courtesy of St. Nick."_

"C.J. I'm so sorry, but you didn't kill him. The hit man St. Nick hired did that, not you." Matt said rubbing her back.

" Don't you see Houston, if I had never told, what happened, my dad wouldn't have been shot. He never would have had a reason to confront the S.O.B." C.J. said tearing up again, still not looking at Houston.

"C.J….,look at me" Houston taking her face in his hands, turning her towards him.

"You did exactly what your dad would have wanted you too, a child should be able to tell their parents anything. And sounds like you had that with your dad. And don't ever let what happened take that from you. I'm so sorry for what happened and how your mother responded. But you did nothing wrong,the wrong was done to _you. _Are you hearing me? and why on earth you thought I would think anything different I'll never anything this whole thing has made me think more of you, if that's even possible. You have overcome so many obstacles in your life,most people would have given up but not you, you kept plugging and look at you now." Matt said trying to comfort her.

" Yea a blubbering idiot." C.J. said looking away.

Matt took her face back in his hands. "Do you want to know what I see? I see a smart, kind,beautiful as hell woman,with nerves of steal. Who has her whole life to look forward too. You need to let this go, I know that's easy for me to say, it wasn't my dad that was killed. But you have to try,because sweetie you didn't do or ask for any of this."

She looked up into his eyes and felt the urge to kiss him,and she did and this time they didn't break their embrace.

" I'm falling in love with you C.J." Matt said

"I've known it for a while but I just didn't know when the time would be right to approach the subject of going to the next level and I don't mean a one time deal, I mean I want to be in this for the long hall."He told her caressing her cheek and then her hair.

" I want that too", I think I've probably been in love with you ever since we met." She told him looking lovingly into his eyes.

And with that they held each tight on the couch the rest of the way back to L.A. and to their "_New Beginning."_


End file.
